Jobs jobs jobs jobs...

Well, I have another job interview this week. Lets see, that makes about 100 since I've been back in northwest Indiana, right? Getting old, folks. But there is more promise with this interview -- it's a job that I like to do, am familiar with and have the skills to master. There's finally some light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately, it's been a long drive through the dark for me these past couple of months. I moved back here in June to be with family, and I thought for sure that I'd have a good job -- or at least a decent job -- in a week, tops. I've always managed to land something before, even if it wasn't in newspapers. See, I'm a journalist, and I have been for years. Probably almost 30 years now. I got started in the business when I was working as a night attendant for a veterinarian in Michigan City. I lived in a little apartment in the clinic and took care of the animals at night, as well as assisted with emergencies. I didn't know I could write back then, but that vet spotted my talent and had me write up some informational sheets for him about heartworms, vaccinations and whatnot. This vet also took care of the animals at the city's zoo, and when a tiger got a rubber tire (his plaything) stuck on his  tooth, the vet had to tranquilize the animal so he could remove it. Why not write it up and submit it to the newspaper, along with a photo he had taken, the man asked. So I did, and it was published. Wow That was the beginning of a long career that I have loved and cherished. Anyway, I moved here from a newspaper job in Texas, and didn't think it would take me long to find a job, even if it wasn't writing. Wrong. It has been three excruciating months of accepting low-paying, back-breaking work to try to pay my half of the rent and utilities. And I've only been able to do that for August. I've delivered newspapers (driving dark streets in the wee hours of the morning, runniing back and forth to my car at every stop to throw papers), cashiered at a local gas station chain (10-hour shifts with no breaks or lunch, and never any standing still, heaven forbid) and closed the meat section in a fancy grocery store (breaking down and washing equipment that weighs twice as much as my puny frame and standing in water for three hours while doing it). And I have applied to so many jobs here that I am numb from filling in blanks. I have dumbed down my resume as much as humanly possible -- who wants a reporter working for them? are you gonna write a story about us? -- and smiled at interviews until my jaws hurt. And I have to ask -- what in heaven's name is God trying to do??? Believe me, I have asked. Repeatedly. With tears. With weariness. With desperation. And there has been no answer except one -- WAIT. What???? Wait???? God, you do realize that bills have to be paid, right? And you do realize that I'm very very frustrated and even a little (well, a lot) upset, right? And you do realize that my self-confidence and self-esteem have taken a major hit because of this, right?????? It's going to take some work just to raise it up to ant level. HURRY UP AND GET ME A JOB, WOULD YOU????? Well, the answer came, finally, not too long ago. I am part of an online group at Saddleback church in California (Rick Warren's church) and have really been getting a lot out of our weekly Bible studies. These people have put up with me during some difficult times, and for that, I am very thankful. The other day, we studied about the purpose of problems. Yeah, they do have a purpose. And it really opened my eyes. God uses problems for a variety of reasons -- to correct us, to teach us, to help us grow and to lead us to trust him more. In my cases, he wanted me to learn at least one of those things -- probably more. I've been dependent on myself to find jobs in the past. And I haven't always appreciated them when I did find them. I grumbled. A lot. Kinda like the children of Israel in Old Testament times. So now, here I am, and this time, I'm listening. I've got a whole new attitude. Humble. Appreciative. Dependent. Let me tell you -- it's a hard lesson. But God's whole focus is preparing us to serve him down here on earth and up there (or wherever it is located) in heaven. You can bet I'm listening a lot better these days. Whether I get the job on Tuesday or not. (I'll let you know how it goes...)